Is femdom gay

Depends, if by Femdom you mean Forcing a man to penetrate the woman then No, that's not Gay at all, but if You're talking about the less common form as in a woman Penetrates a man's Anus then it's sort of concidered Gay, if you think about it, it's not really gay since it's a Woman, on the other hand, it's exteremely bizzare and unusual.