Who is affected in a divorce?

Divorce affects many people, especially the innocent children who are the bystanders thinking it was their fault that mommy and daddy broke up. My son was 12 when his mother and I separated - he thought it was his fault and it took years of gentle conversation on my part to convince him otherwise.

My son now understands, but 6 years ago his mom passed away quite suddenly (she was re-married) and so he no longer has a bio mom, just me and my girlfriend. The cross that I now have to bear are the thoughts that if his mom and I had stayed together, she might still be alive today and his family would be "whole."

Others it affects are the inlaws and friends of the family. Often when a couple splits, the friends they had will shun them away like they are no longer human and never have any contact with them again. If met in public, they actually will make every attempt at total avoidance, even to say "hi" which would do them no harm at all.

Divorce is very painful ... and we who have been through this begin to wonder ourselves if we did something grossly wrong that provoked this separation. It leaves an emptiness in ones life ... and a drawer full of legal documents and court paperwork that remains a constant reminder of our earlier times.