How do you make a perfect autobiography?

"My name is..."

"I was born.."

"My name is..."

"I was born.."

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"It was a dark and stormy night."

no,no,no. Do not open an autobiography like that! It needs to be interesting.. Grab the readers attention. Yes, you need to include your date of birth, and name etc. but you say that after the opening!! Start of with something like "I once saw a cloud in the sky that looked exactly like me..despite the fact it didn't have blue eyes and purple hair..and I saw it on the 14th of June 2011..I came into the world on the 13th of September, 1982" or whatever.. That's a bit weird.. But hay, it would get their attention? ;) hope I helped,, :D