How can a person heal from an abusive relationship when they feel they are emotionally raw?

To do things to improve ones self such as joining a gym,therapy groups,maybe school or a new trade, socializing with friends, and going on dates. Its been nearly 9 months since my separation and I'm just barely coming to grips with myself and the realization that I can get out there and be productive and positive. Of course my Ex would like to see me in jail or thrill to see me down, but I have to find a way to be happy in all that I do, i have to and I won't give up on me. It may sound abit selfish but how can we love another if we don't love ourselves first? To do things to improve ones self such as joining a gym,therapy groups,maybe school or a new trade, socializing with friends, and going on dates. Its been nearly 9 months since my separation and I'm just barely coming to grips with myself and the realization that I can get out there and be productive and positive. Of course my Ex would like to see me in jail or thrill to see me down, but I have to find a way to be happy in all that I do, i have to and I won't give up on me. It may sound abit selfish but how can we love another if we don't love ourselves first? Decide that you are a worthwhile project and invest in yourself. Do something you love to do (I love to draw and took a drawing class).... And remember, things will get better and before, you knew what you knew and now, you know better and you'll do better. Make the most of your time here on earth. Reach out to others and you'll see, not everybody is sick and mean....Have faith? good luck with it all someone who knows what you are going through. I'd say in addition to doing things you like to do, also embrace the grieving process head on. It hurts to cry and get over that heartache feeling, but if you supress your emotions, I believe it delays the grieving process significantly. It's okay to cry. Let it all out and heal faster.