What is the ultimate Gag Christmas gift?

Or the ultimate Christmas Gift that would make you Gag. Here's mine:

1. A singing fish

2. A fruitcake that nobody would eat last Christmas

3. Any Chia pet.

4. A free hunting lesson with Dick Cheney

5. A free driving lesson with Ted Kennedy.

6. An ethics course taught by all the living former governors of Illinois.

7. A book on manners and etiquette written by Ann Coulter.

9. A handkerchief made entirely of dryer lint.

10. A giant salamander.

11. A ton of steer manure to fertilize your garden.

12. A heard of goats.

13. Stock in a subprime lender.

14. The creatures and rotten vegetable matter that Andrew Zimmern refused to eat.

15. Exotic Animal poop.

16. Blow up sheep.