Can you get a hamster drunk?

"No. Are trying to kill the poor thingy???" In response to your question, the former is absolutely, positively FALSE. I happen to be a neuroscientist who studies the effects of ALCOHOL on circadian rhythms/sleep in the SYRIAN HAMSTER, a common domestic breed. We have found that PER GRAM OF BODY WEIGHT, hamsters consume FIFTY TIMES MORE alcohol than the average, 165 lb. human male. This finding has been televised in an interview on Manswers (see: http://www.spike.com/video/which-animal-can/3067779 ) and similar work was published today in the American Journal of Physiology: "Chronic ethanol attenuates circadian photic phase-resetting and alters nocturnal activity patterns in the hamster." While reading the publication, you can do the calculations yourself!