Can ketchup make your hands softer?

I don't know if ketchup can but I know that pennies can. That is right! Pennies can make your hands softer. If you see any anywhere, just get about at least $4.50 dollars worth of pennies. Sit down on the floor and put the pennies in a pile. Grab some then just let them slide out of your hands. Do it until you think your hands are soft. Feel your hands. Aren't they soft? Then to make your hands smell good, go wash your hands with soap. Your hands should still feel soft.